Life

Have you ever wondered what your purpose in life is?

I think about it daily. What are my goals? What do I want to be? Why do I want to accomplish these things? I do not have the answers, but I am starting the journey of finding myself. I recently took up classes in Graphic Design to try and earn my BFA in fine arts. I want to immerse myself in the culture. I want an identity. I want to become a professional designer.

I also need to get over my "instant satisfaction" complex. It has plagued me my entire life. I always need an answer as soon as the question pops into my brain. Why? I am not sure? It is not always necessary, but I feel like I can not function without it. I always need some sort of direction. Constantly taking notes, making schedules and goals for myself, but never following through is an issue that I deal with daily. I need to learn how to take a problem and break it down to a point where it is no longer a problem, but a challenge. My general expectations for myself are too high for me to live up to. At least for this moment. I need to morph my expectations into goals that can be accomplished over time. 

I have been researching happiness. Originally, I didn't believe in it (still not completely convinced of it's existence). I have always considered it some sort of excuse to generalize other feelings that people were experiencing. It is starting to seem like there is a recipe for it, a sort of method. It may be possible to teach yourself how to be happy. To condition yourself to think, act, breath, live in a different way that can promote positive outcomes. This isn't something that will happen over night. It might not even happen for years, or even at all for that matter.  Is it worth it?... Probably... It can't hurt right?